This is a poem sent through by my very dear friend and colleague Jayne Johnson and it is part of a trilogy, a process.
These speak to me of when the ‘flow’ gets tough, in the relational dance between us and the other; of when it comes up against turbulence and obstacles, winds get wild, the ground shakes, the stream suddenly seems to be swallowed by underground currents, running deep into the earth, before it can reappear onto the surface, to the energy of renewal and growth that can be born this way.
They also tell me of the new, unexpected, nourishing connection that can be found , if we ride the turbulence without abandoning ourselves or the other, until the old, predictable landscape is allowed to fade, and the new unpredictable, unchartered, creative one is let emerge…but it is best not to say very much here and leave it all to speak to YOU.
God Or A Mouse
Who am I god or a mouse?
Do I need to be both, neither, for you?
As a friend, a companion, who can reflect back to you
The very thing you fear.
How do I see fully with one eye blinded by ‘the other’?
With myself, yourself, exposed to the squirming shame faces of reality
How can I ‘bare’ myself? How can you ‘bare’ yourself?
In this ever changing multitude of chaotic, simple me’s and you’s.
I am a changing, moving, growing bundle of cells,
Feelings, pasts, presents, futures
I can promise only one thing
I will not be the same in a moment.
I have gone, moved on
I am no longer the person you might have glimpsed a moment ago
How can we hope to meet in this madness called life?
Worse still how do I know myself without the mirror you carry in your being?
How can you hope to capture me, to hold me for an instant in time?
I’m ‘hear’, then, I’m somewhere else
The moment is lost, disappearing into the infinity of isolation
Do we only ever receive and give a blurred under or over exposed self image?
I am me – you are you – where are we?
Lost in the void of words, meanings, feelings, colours
As soon as you think you see me, I’m gone
No longer me, I’, now something else
It’s a paradox of a paradise, only dreamed of
I’m here – no not there I’m here
Please see me
But whatever you do don’t!
© 2011, Jayne Johnson, 31st May 2011
Read the other 2 poems, the completion of this trilogy, here
Thank you Jayne!